Finding My Greatness

"The vision must be followed by the venture. It is not enough to stare up the steps - we must step up the stairs."  - Vance Havner (Brainy Quotes - VH)

Most children have dreams about what they want to be when they grown up.
As a child, I wanted to be a veterinarian because I have always loved animals.  In fact, sometimes, I think they are easier to love than people.  But, then I found out vets have to put animals to sleep, and I changed my mind pretty quickly.  We laugh because for years, my son would excitedly wait every Friday morning for our garbage men to come and take our trash.  Eventually they became familiar with him and occasionally would wave if they saw him in the window as he shook like the HULK with excitement.  He would tell us with conviction, "Mommy, Daddy, I wanna be a garbage man when I get big!"  And the only thing I could think about was at least he had dreams, a plan.  He has since changed his mind, but to be so excited about a job, a career, that's powerful!  Personally, I changed my mind a few times after deciding I didn't want to be a vet anymore.  Eventually, I made the decision that I wanted to be a lawyer.  And I actually kept that career goal through most of my teenage years; I simply modified it once I got closer to graduating from high school and going to college.  I considered the idea of going into International Business (& eventually Law) because I had this notion that living out of a suitcase would be fascinating and I  had a desire to travel the world.  To be completely honest with you, I'm not real sure I truly knew what International Business (& eventually Law school) was or entailed, I just knew I liked how regal and prestigious it sounded and it seemed thrilling.

Then I got to college and I realized after some time that Marketing was where I belonged.  I have always had a passion for people.  What does that mean?  I am the type of person that can sit and literally watch people for hours, mesmerized by them; what are they wearing, how are they carrying themselves, how are they interacting with each other, how do they  talk on their cell phones, etc.  It's fascinating to me!  As I was approaching graduation from college, I had FINALLY decided I wanted to do something with fashion and marketing.  I even got the opportunity of a lifetime when THE Neiman Marcus flew me to Dallas, TX where their headquarters are located for a very intense, three day interview.  I was interviewing with dozens of other girls for multiple Buyer positions. Although I didn't end up getting one of the positions, it ended up being a very good experience for me, one that I have never forgotten.  I learned a lot about myself from those three days.  When you want something and don't get it, you also start to second guess yourself.  It can bring your insecurities and worst qualities out as well.  What is it about me that they didn't like?  What do I need to change?  Am I in the wrong field?  And because of that, I think I became ashamed of myself and it made me doubt my abilities.  Its funny how one job interview can change your outlook on yourself for so many years.  And so I gave up and stopped trying.

"Vision without action is merely a dream.  Action without vision just passes the time.  Vision with action can change the world."   - Joel A. Barker (Brainy Quotes - JAB)

Over the last 15 years, I have had jobs, not careers.  Some jobs I have enjoyed, some I have hated, some have made me question my life's decisions, and wonder why I bothered wasting money on a degree when it really hasn't done me any favors.  Before I graduated from college, I had this mentality that because I had a college degree, life would be easy and jobs would come to me.  In no way was I truly prepared for life in the real world.  I had a "vision" of what my life would be like when I graduated.  Right after I graduated, shortly after moving to Alabama, I had already given up on myself.  Why would anyone want to take a chance on me?  When I tried my hand at management, I quickly found out that wasn't for me.  Maybe it was the company, maybe it was the group of people I was working with and maybe it was me.  I thought to myself, maybe I don't have what it takes to be a manager, maybe I'm not cut out to be a leader.  But I read an article in the Harvard Business Review this week that made me realize I was wrong, there's a difference between management and leadership: 

Leadership is entirely different. It is associated with taking an organization into the future, finding opportunities that are coming at it faster and faster and successfully exploiting those opportunities. Leadership is about vision, about people buying in, about empowerment and, most of all, about producing useful change. Leadership is not about attributes, it’s about behavior. And in an ever-faster-moving world, leadership is increasingly needed from more and more people, no matter where they are in a hierarchy. The notion that a few extraordinary people at the top can provide all the leadership needed today is ridiculous, and it’s a recipe for failure (Kotter, 2013).

This last year, through personal struggles and family tragedy, I have been given a chance to see things in a different light.  What I have realized is I'm not a failure.  And when I think of myself, I AM a leader in so many ways.  I may not be the CEO of a large corporation or a Buyer for Neiman Marcus, but I am leading my son in the right direction and teaching him about what it takes to be a good person and hopefully, one day a leader.  I have strong values and extreme determination.  And the one thing I have always prided myself on is being honest - almost to a fault.  Survey results posted in a 2009 article of the Harvard Business Review said the following:  

In an ongoing project surveying tens of thousands of working people around the world, we asked, “What do you look for and admire in a leader (defined as someone whose direction you would willingly follow)?” Then we asked, “What do you look for and admire in a colleague (defined as someone you’d like to have on your team)?” The number one requirement of a leader—honesty—was also the top-ranking attribute of a good colleague (Kouzes and Posner, 2009).

So, now I have a new vision, a new understanding of leadership and where I want my life to go.  But my success is no longer determined by how much money I make, or how big my house is, or how many people I manage below me.  I now know that although I may not be management material, I am definitely LEADERSHIP material, and I am just looking for my path to greatness.
   


References

Joel A. Barker Quotes. (n.d.). BrainyQuote.com. Retrieved April 17, 2019, from BrainyQuote.com Web site: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/joel_a_barker_158200

Kotter, J. (2013, January 9). Management is (Still) Not Leadership. Retrieved from https://hbr.org/2013/01/management-is-still-not-leadership.html

Kouzes, J. and Posner, B. (2009, January). To Lead, Create a Shared Vision. Retrieved from https://hbr.org/2009/01/to-lead-create-a-shared-vision

Vance Havner Quotes. (n.d.). BrainyQuote.com. Retrieved April 17, 2019, from BrainyQuote.com Web site: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/vance_havner_105323